Late night musings with a mad man

It is 11:00pm, and I consider this late...what has happened to me? It wouldnt be uncommon for me to stay up to 2 or 3 each night to get back up at 8 and function fully. I find (and it really seems to be the theme of this blog, when I have the time or desire to write) that during my 'growing up' of sorts, things have drasticly changed in a matter of months. I dont know if I like the things that come with change - More on that shortly.

Change, as it is happening for me seems to touch everything within me and around me. There are the obvious things: New Job, New Place, New Living Arrangement, New Challenges, New Bills etc. For the most part these things are good, minus the bills - those suck and dealing with the utilities suck. I actualy overall find myself happy in my new situation.

Because of these things I have also gained a new insight on people and events from my life. This is where I start running into trouble and find myself unhappy. I find myself unhappy because I look to the past and see people who mean a lot to me and thats where they stay, in the past. Despite all the contact I attempt to make with old friends and co workers, all history and convorsation beyond the initial ten minute "what's new?" sticks striclty to the time before I moved on to the next part of my life. All the while since Ive moved on, it always feels like they are stuck there, rehashing the same jokes, stories, living as if the progress of time has come to a stop. I see people who still obsess over the things we used to obsess about years ago.

Is it that uncommon for people to move on? Why should I feel guilty that I went on to new things?